Dude, Where's my car ?
by Dazz Hardy
Summary: The Adventures of Dazz and Dan continue. NOW UPDATED !!!


Dude Where's My Car ?  
  
A Parody by Dazz Hardy  
  
Scene 1  
  
The Scene : Dazz's House  
  
Dazz : * wakes up, with hangover, and walks into living room* Whats on dude ?  
  
Dan : Animal Planet  
  
TV : * pictures of Monkeys *  
  
Dazz : Hey what did we do last night  
  
Dan : I dunno.  
  
Dazz : Oh hey wasent it Cammy and Rubys Party ?  
  
Dan : Oh yeah, where we there ?!  
  
Dazz : Course we were, what sorta boyfriends would we be if we weren't  
  
Dan : Yeah ..  
  
Closet Door : * Opens, out walks Akuma * Me Suit (hey guys)  
  
Dazz n Dan : Hey Akuma  
  
Akuma : * takes a leak against a pot plant *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Return attention to TV *  
  
Akuma : * finishes * Me Suit ? (any messages ?)  
  
Dan : No dude.  
  
Akuma : * returns to closet * Me Suit ! (okay guys, c'ya tomoorow)  
  
Dazz : C'ya Akuma  
  
Closet Door : * closes *  
  
Dan : Dude how do you know Akuma ?  
  
Dazz : I don't I thought he was your friend.  
  
Dan : No dude I thought he was a pal of yours.  
  
Dazz n Dan : Ahck well  
  
Dazz : Lets eat  
  
Dan : Ok  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Enter Kitchen and open fridge, it's full of Jello *  
  
Dazz : Is it possible we got So Wasted last night we bought a lifetimes supply of Jello ?  
  
Dan : * opens cupboard * way dude  
  
Cupboard : * is full of jello  
  
  
  
The Guys return to the living room empty Jello cups everywhere.  
  
Phone : * rings *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Ignore *  
  
Phone : * rings *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Ignore *  
  
Phone : * rings *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Ignore *  
  
Phone : * rings *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Ignore *  
  
Answer Phone : Dazz n Dan are Taunting Right Now, so cant get the phone, if you wanna leave a message after the Yahooii ! we'll get back to you * YAHOII !!! *  
  
Cammy n Ruby on phone : What happened To you guys last night, you come round with tons of gold chains and wreck our house, then disappear. You guys are sucky boyfriends. I bet your sat there in your GI's playing Capcom vs SNK.  
  
Dazz in GI : uhhh  
  
Dan in GI : * turns of DC *  
  
Cammy n Ruby : you guys are sucky boyfriends, bet you forgot it was our anniversary and didn't get us gifts, you guys suck * hang up *  
  
Dan : There right we suck  
  
Dazz : No we got them well cool gifts, remember ?  
  
Dan : Oh yeah, so where did we put them ?  
  
Dazz : * thinks *  
  
Dazz : * thinks *  
  
Dazz : * thinks some more * oh yeah ! we put them in my car dude  
  
Dan : Yahooii  
  
Main Door : * Bang ! Bang ! Bang ! *  
  
?? ? : Yo' Foo's in their ?  
  
Dazz : Its Mr. T !  
  
Mr T : Yo better open this door now Suckahs or yo gonna be just another Mr T vs Fan Fic  
  
Dan : * opens main door * Hey Mr T  
  
Mr T : where my chains Foo'  
  
Dazz : erm, we borrowed your chains ?  
  
Mr T : yeah foo' now where are they ?!  
  
Dan : erm  
  
Dazz : uhh  
  
Dazz : there in my car * smiles * yeah there in my car  
  
Mr T : then get them you white honkey  
  
Dan : erm we cant  
  
Mr T : * gets ready to throw hella far *  
  
Dazz : it's the girls and ours anniversary Mr T, can we bring them to you later ?  
  
Mr T : Cammy n Ruby ?  
  
Dan : Yeah  
  
Mr T : well if its them, you guys betta bring them later though  
  
Dan : You got it Mr T  
  
Mr T : * leaves *  
  
Pizza : * falls from ceiling *  
  
Dazz n Dan * Catch and eat *  
  
  
  
Scene 2  
  
The Scene : Outside Dazz's house  
  
Dan : so dude what we gonna do ?  
  
Dazz : we'll get the gifts, take them to the girls, and get our treats  
  
Dan : hehehe yeah .. Treats..  
  
Dazz n Dan : * walk to curb and look around*  
  
Dazz : Dude, wheres my car ?  
  
Dan : Wheres your car dude ?  
  
Dazz : Dude, wheres my car ?  
  
Dan : Wheres your car dude ?  
  
Dazz : Dude, wheres my car ?  
  
Dan : Wheres your car dude ?  
  
Dazz : * hits dan * Dude its not funny, wheres my car  
  
Dan : * giggles * wheres your car dude ?  
  
Dazz : did I drive last night ?  
  
Dan : yeah  
  
Dazz : you sure ?  
  
Dan yeah . * snigger *  
  
Dazz : So wheres my car dude  
  
Dan : * laughs * I dunno dude  
  
Dazz : Shut Up Dude ! we need to get back into the state we were in last night  
  
Dan : Instograohical Photogenic Memory Retrival  
  
Dazz : huh ?  
  
Dan : Discover dude  
  
Dazz : cool dude, lets try Joe's house  
  
Dazz n Dan * start walking *  
  
  
  
Half an hour later  
  
Dan : Dude I cant walk any further, we've must have been walking for hours : ( * Is two metres away from Dazz's gate *  
  
Dazz : I know man walking sux, oh hey look * points at car * its Beni * walks into road * Hey Beni !  
  
Benimaru in car : Dammit im not that way !!! *drives straight at Dazz *  
  
Dazz : * knocked to curb *  
  
Dan : guess he didn't recognise you  
  
Dazz : guess not .  
  
Dan : * points to road * Hey its Robert * rols into road * Yahooii ! Hey Robert !  
  
Robert Garcia in 4x4 : Damn Taunting Lookalike * drives straight at Dan *  
  
Dan : * knocked to curb *  
  
Dazz : guess he didn't recognise you either  
  
Dan guess not..  
  
  
  
Scene 3  
  
The Scene : Joe Higashi's Muai Thai Temple (aka his backyard)  
  
Dazz : Hey Joe  
  
Dan : Yo Joe  
  
Joe : * talking like Yoda * Guys, Hey  
  
Dazz : Joe we need to get back into the state of mind we where in last night  
  
Dan : Yeah, we need a Level 3 Hyper Taunt  
  
Joe : eyes close you must, tate-medi you shall  
  
Dazz n Dan : huh  
  
Dan : *looks at Joe's Dog and whispers to Dazz * his dogs dead man  
  
Dazz : * Hits Dog *  
  
Dog : * stone cold *  
  
Dazz n Dan : hehehe  
  
Joe : * cough * Concentrating Not Dudes !  
  
Dazz : Joe your dogs dead  
  
Joe : no he isn't  
  
Dan : is it deaf ?  
  
Joe : Deaf not dude  
  
Dazz : does it know any other tricks , other then playing dead  
  
Dazz n Dan * laugh *  
  
Joe : * takes out pipe * here Uppah, heres the good stuff  
  
Dog : * springs to life and is given the pipe by Joe *  
  
Dazz : Dude, your dogs a stoner  
  
Dog : * takes puff and vision goes all 70's *  
  
Dan : Yahooii  
  
Joe : so what you gonna do ?  
  
Dan : We should eat  
  
Dazz : no dude we should eat  
  
Dan n Joe : excellent Dude * play air guitar *  
  
Dazz : Party on Dudes  
  
Dazz n Joe n Dan : * play air guitar *  
  
Bill n Ted : Excellent * play air guitar *  
  
Dog : * is stoned *  
  
  
  
Scene 4  
  
The Scene : Outside The Drive in of Gouki's Chinese food  
  
The Guys drive up to the speaker machine  
  
Speaker Machine Gouki : Me Suit (can I take your order)  
  
Dan : Hey you sound like Akuma  
  
Gouki : ME suit (Akuma is my American version)  
  
Dan : oh..  
  
Dazz : Oh yeah, I'd like 3 orders of chicken  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : erm. 3 orders of white rice  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : * to Joe and Dan * you guys want some soup ?  
  
Joe : kay of the oak man  
  
Dan : dude stop trying to be Yoda  
  
Joe : Sorry : (  
  
Dazz : * to machine * and 3 orders of swanton soup  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dan : Dude we need fortune cookies.  
  
Dazz : * to machine * and Fourtune cookies.  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : That's it  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : Then put it in a bag cos im ready to eat  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : I wont play your Chinese mind games  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : Your Pissin me off.!!!!  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : Im gonna come in there and stick my foot straight up your ass !!!!!!  
  
Gouki : * Silence *  
  
Dazz : * confident look *  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Gouki : Me Suit (and then)  
  
Dazz : GOD DAMN IT !!! * smashes machine *  
  
The guys drive off  
  
Gouki : * muffeled and tinny voice * Me Suit (and then)  
  
  
  
Scene 5  
  
The Scene : Outside MoonDollars Coffe house, on Ne St.  
  
Dazz and Dan are stood on the pavement, Joe drives off.  
  
Dazz : Dude, Saikyo is not better than Muai Thai when the guy is gining us a ride !!!  
  
Dan : well he didn't have to be so touchy. Man, he's worse than Beni.  
  
Benimaru : * pops up from behind trashcan * Why do people think I'm gay.. :-( * sweatdrop * I'm not dammit ! * disappears back behind trash can *  
  
Dazz n Dan : * shrugs *  
  
Mai : * is walking across the other side of the street and waves at our heros *  
  
Dazz : Mai Shiranui, the hottest of the hot..  
  
Dan : dude, she waved at us  
  
Dazz : nah, she just probably thought you were Robert Garcia, you should change your hair or somats man  
  
Dan : huh.. No Way !  
  
Mai : * is now stood in front of the duo * Hi Dazz *looks at him sexily, you know Mai :-) *  
  
Dazz : * blusing * err. Hi  
  
Mai : Hi Dan.  
  
Dan : * Joey from 'Blossom' style * Woah ! * melts *  
  
Mai : * looking at Dazz * I had a great time last night . ;-)  
  
Dazz : * faces is radioactive * hee.. me too  
  
Mai : that was some crazy party, what with all that gold chain.  
  
Dazz : hey, speaking of the party, did you see my car ?  
  
Mai : I saw the backseat of it.  
  
Dazz : I was kinda looking for the whole car, chasis and all..  
  
Mai : why don't you just buy a new one with all that money you were throwin around last night  
  
Dazz : I had money ?!?!?! * looks dumbstruck *  
  
Mai : Yeah, don't you remember ?  
  
Dazz : * shakes head *  
  
Mai : You paid me $500 to do my victory pose toppless * smiles *  
  
Dazz : *still dumbstruck * I had money, and you topless last night, man I musta been wasted, I don't remember any of it  
  
Mai : * moves closer to Dazz * maybe you need reminding .  
  
(meanwhile at Daz... The Authors computer, Chun-Li appears  
  
Chun : remember Dazz nothing too hentai, you save that for me later * winks at The Author *  
  
Author : oh okies Chunny :-), we now return to the scene)  
  
  
  
A Convertible car pulls up in Front of Dazz, Mai and the now solidified Dan  
  
Car : * stops, out Jump Sagat, Cable and Iceman (who, for Fic purposes are bad, Sagat cos he's Dan's enemy, the other two for being cheap)  
  
Sagat : * to Mai * These stoners bothering you ???  
  
Mai : * angrily * No !, I was just saying hi  
  
Cable : * to Dazz n Dan * You better not be annoying her, or its stoner bashin time !  
  
Dazz n Dan : Oh Yeah  
  
Cable n Iceman : YEAH !  
  
Dazz n Dan : * Hang Heads * okay.  
  
Sagat : * grabs Mai and gets in the car * guys.  
  
Cable and Iceman : * pick up trashcans and dump them on the heros heads, before getting in the car, and driving off *  
  
Dan in trash can : dude you got Mai naked  
  
Dazz in trash can : and posing..  
  
Dazz n Dan : Yahooii ! Low five * low five *  
  
Dan : lets go * walks off *  
  
Dazz : ok * walks into lamp post* DOH !  
  
Scene 6: Street  
  
The guys are walking aimlessly  
  
Dan: so what exactly happened last night dude ?  
  
Dazz: I dunno dude but we lost Mr. T's chains, we had a shed load of money, got Mai posing topless and we lost my car, so I'd say it was a pretty average night.  
  
Dan: so what are we gonna do dude ?  
  
Dazz: I dunno dude, we need to think, whats the last place we remember being. ?  
  
Dan: Didn't we got to the girls party ? * starts searching in his pockets *  
  
Dazz: * searching his pockets * yeah, at least I think so, but what else did we do ?  
  
Dan: * pulls a matchbox outta his GI * hey dude look at this  
  
Dazz: no way did we go there last night, but we might as well check it out.  
  
The matchbox is from a place called the 12 Bees night club.  
  
Scene 7: 12 Bees Club  
  
Dazz: *as the two enter the club * No Way where we here last night !  
  
Dan: Yeah, we'd be so outta place here.  
  
Juli: * from behind the bar * Hey its Mr. Dazz !  
  
Juni: * serving drinks * and Mr. Dan !  
  
Dazz: woah dude we musta been here last night.  
  
Dan: * to juni * were we here last night  
  
Juni: Yeah you guys we're the life of the party ^_^  
  
Juli: Don't you guys remember the special lap dances you got ?  
  
Dazz: Man how wasted were we last night, no we don't  
  
Juli: hey Lio Dazz needs a refresher course !  
  
Lio: *comes over and takes Dazz off into a room. *  
  
Dan: Did I get a special dance ?  
  
Juni: you sure did * points to the stage as the other ten Bee's pour water on their tight white shirts.  
  
Dan: * with nose bleed * WOAH O_O  
  
Scene 8 : The Back room with Lio  
  
Dazz: so how special was my lap dance ?  
  
Lio: * throws Dazz onto a chair and in a male voice says * wheres my money ?!  
  
Dazz: wha ?! O_O  
  
Lio: * lifts her skirt to reval a bump in her panties *  
  
Dazz: AAAAHHH !!! DUDE YOU'RE A DUDE !!!!  
  
LIOKAISER: I'm a Gender Challenged Male !!!  
  
Dazz: DUDE !!!, that's not cool!!  
  
LIOKAISER: So where's my money ?  
  
Dazz: err. Its in my car... yeah its in my car.  
  
LIOKAISER: well you better get it for me, or I'll post the picture from last night  
  
Dazz: * already out the door * O_O  
  
Scene 9 : Back in the club  
  
Dan: * on stage dancing with the girls * YAHOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^  
  
Dazz: DAN !! get down here ! we're leaving ! NOW !!! * grabs Dan and carries him outside *  
  
Dan: Bye Girls I Love You !!  
  
Girls: We Love You Dan !!!  
  
Scene 10 : A Street  
  
Dazz: Okay dude, last night we accepted a loada money from a transsexual lap dancer, lost a loada gold chains, got Mai posing topless and managed to lose my car.  
  
Dan: Like we said earlier dude, pretty average night.  
  
Dazz and Dan: Yahooie !!! * high five each other *  
  
Dazz: So what do we do now ?  
  
Dan: Well we know we went to the girls house,  
  
Dazz: and trashed it,  
  
Dan: so we should go help clear up right.  
  
Dazz: Right ! but wont they be upset if we don't have their gifts ?  
  
Dan: Id forgotten about that _ So what shall we do ?  
  
Dazz: I dunno, maybe we should tell them the gifts are in my car, but its in the shop for repairs : )  
  
Dan: That sounds like a plan dude  
  
Dazz: nah dude it sounds like a plan :-P  
  
  
  
Scene 11: The House  
  
The Guys arrive at the house, the place outside is completely wasted.  
  
Dazz: Did we do this?  
  
Dan: I guess so.  
  
They walk through the gate, which falls off of its hinges, and up to the door.  
  
Dazz: You knock.  
  
Dan: No you knock.  
  
Dazz: You Knock  
  
Dan: I know we'll flip a coin, heads I win, tails you lose  
  
Dazz: * thinks.* Okay  
  
Dan: * flips coin * Tail's you lose : )  
  
Dazz: Doh!!! * Knocks on the door *  
  
Claire Redfield: * opens the door * Hi Dan, Hi Dazz, how can I help you?  
  
Dazz: Hi Claire, we're looking for Cammy and Ruby, the last place we remember being last night is here.  
  
Dan: We were kinda hoping they we're still here.  
  
Claire: Well Lex, Dave, Smash, Trevor, Shingo, AlleyViper and Mycah are still pretty hung over from the party we all had last night, to commerate the ending of another Fic, Smash getting outta the Bin and Dave starting the Tourney, don't you remember any of it?  
  
Dazz and Dan: * both completely expressionless * err. nope, sorry.  
  
Claire: Well you guys came with a loada pizzas, gold chains Cammy and Ruby. I guess after you guys left Cammy and Ruby went back to Ruby's ship.  
  
Dazz: They Live on a ship?!  
  
Claire: Yeah, don't you remember, the Doby Heart, from Oni's legacy of you Dan.  
  
Dan: * short term memory catches up * Oh Yeah !!!  
  
Dazz: dude how'd you forget that ?  
  
Claire: Well you guys were pretty wasted last night.  
  
Dazz: hehe I guess so, well thanks Claire.  
  
Dan: Tell the others we said Hi  
  
Claire: Okay guys, see ya later for the end of fic party.  
  
Dazz: Theres gonna be an end of fic party ?  
  
Claire: Maybe.  
  
Dazz and Dan: * shrug * okay then See ya later, Bye  
  
The Guys head off down the road, when suddenly Dan runs back.  
  
Dan: Claire, which way would the ship be ?  
  
Claire : * points in the direction of the clearly visible floating boat *  
  
Dan: * does his thumbs up pose * YAYUUSE!!! * runs and catches up with Dazz *  
  
Scene 12 The Doby Heart  
  
Dazz: Dan, why'd you never tell me Ruby Lived on a Ship ?  
  
Dan: Well it never really came up.  
  
Dazz: But how can you not mention it ?  
  
Dan: You never asked  
  
Dazz: v_v Never mind. You can knock this time.  
  
Dan: * knocks*  
  
Dan: * knocks again ignoring the doorbell *  
  
Dazz: * Hits the door bell * Dude did you do that on purpose ?  
  
Dan: Do I look that clever ?  
  
Dazz: Good point  
  
Dan: * smiles *  
  
Ruby and Cammy: * open door * What are you two doing here ?  
  
Dazz: You said we trashed your house, so being the not sucky boyfriends we are, we thought we'd come and help clear up. * looks round at the clean room * but it looks like your done : ).  
  
Cammy: That's so sweet, but all we've goto do is take out the trash.  
  
Dan: Well we can do that : )  
  
Dazz: Yeah, you two go take a relaxing bath, and pamper yourselves.  
  
Cammy and Ruby: Okay * smile sweetly and walk off *  
  
Scene 13 Inside the Doby Heart  
  
Dazz and Dan: * Carrying huge pile of trash bags *  
  
Dan: I told you if we took them all at one it made more sense  
  
Dazz: Man I cant believe we managed to trash two houses in one night, although the other one wasent just us.  
  
Dan: Dude * pile of bags shake * why'd ya give me the heavy end ?  
  
Dazz: I didn't dude  
  
Dan: well this end's heavy * bag falls off the top *  
  
Dazz and Dan: Uh Oh O_O  
  
M Bison: * psycho crushers through the bags * Mwahahaha now you'll have to clean up again, im so evil mwahahaha * the bags of trash explode leavin popcorn and all other sorts trash all over the place *  
  
Dazz and Dan: AAAHHHHH Ruby and Cammy are gonna kill us * turn to face bison* and its his fault : (  
  
M Bison: Mwhahahah  
  
Dazz: Metsu Shoryuken !!!  
  
Dan: Koryu Reppa !!!  
  
M Bison: * is knocked into air and explodes *  
  
Cammy and Ruby : * enter and see all the trash * What did you guys do ?!  
  
Dazz: not good  
  
Dan: * sweatdrops *  
  
Cammy: * grabs Dazz *  
  
Ruby: * grabs Dan *  
  
Cammy and Ruby : * throw the guys out * YOU GUYS SUCK !!! 


End file.
